Then Again, Maybe Not

Um, I still don't even have any spotting.  And my intestines have gone back to normal.  I'm having some aching in my hips and sides that Bear thinks may be signs of my body starting to change.  He didn't want to tell me what he thought when I said where I was aching, because he didn't want to get my hopes up when he knew how hard I was trying to guard my heart.  I was wincing enough from them early in the evening that he had me lie down with the heating pad for a while.

I didn't test today, because at the last minute Bear had to leave earlier in the morning than I did and I didn't want to test without him.  But we both agreed to test tomorrow.  I started getting those aches I mentioned above in a different spot of my pelvis tonight and I showed him where a few minutes ago, and he just gave me a level look.  I looked back at him, and he told me I was shaking.  I went in for a hug and he told me I was trembling while he held me.

I'm so scared of being hurt.

Is anyone out there, listening?