Thursday, September 19, 2013

Holy Crap, Is This Week Real?

I got a nice little surprise on Tuesday!

No, Bear did not propose simply because of our BFP, although we are hurrying up the wedding because I'm currently uninsured.  He had ordered the ring a little bit ago, and we had expected it to be delivered anytime between September 11 and 20.  The timing sure works out, though!

Apparently the ring came in Monday, but he led me to believe that it hadn't come in Monday or Tuesday.  Tuesday afternoon, we were getting ready to go downtown to look at a couple possible wedding venues, and Bear asked me if I was ready to go and if I had everything I needed.  I said I did, and he said, "no, you don't," pulled out the box, and got down on one knee.  Apparently, I looked shocked!

Bear told the kids on Wednesday, and they asked to be ring bearer and flower girl!  The 6 year old also asked me if she could help me pick out a dress.  :-)

However, between the insurance issues and not trying to send the message of "we're getting married because I'm knocked up," especially to my Mormon stepfamily and to the people that are friends with both us and our exes, figuring out the timing of the wedding is tricky.  If we get married in the courthouse, we get married in a group with whoever else is doing it that day, like a bunch of Moonies.  NOT appealing.  But it would get the job done quickly, and we can get me on his insurance within a day or two of the ceremony.  If we wait, I can't make a prenatal appointment without going to a pregnancy crisis center or whatever, because it's just too expensive out of pocket.  If we do the courthouse Moonie thing and then have a real ceremony and reception later, which we may be looking at, there's the risk of me showing by then and it also then looks more like a shotgun wedding.

Also making it fun is that we can't have a church wedding without it being a random church.  Bear is Catholic, and his marriage, while not originally a Catholic marriage, later became one.  I've been confirmed Catholic, but I identify much more as Methodist.  However, I haven't really become involved in a Methodist church here because I've been going to Mass with him.  So even the one I've visited a couple of times would feel random.  At this point, our best bet seems to be a judge that's in the Knights of Columbus with Bear.

But I'm fretting and stressing about all this.  It's easy to say "screw em," but these are people whose opinions I care about.  And I already took flak from some of the Mormon cousins for getting divorced in the first place.  I don't want to be the cousin they look down on, like some of them do our other cousin who had a shotgun wedding.  And I don't want people thinking we only got married because we were stupid enough to get knocked up, when we have wanted to be married to each other for months and desperately want what we're now calling our little penguin.


  1. Nice ring! Congratulations to you both.

  2. Huge congratulations on your engagement and pregnancy. May everything go smoothly and as planned.

    Happy ICLW!

  3. My sister found out she was pregnant the day of her bridal shower and was 5 months pregnant at the wedding. Honestly, you could hardly tell because of how the dress was. 16 years later, no one cares or thinks about it. Although they did have an awkward conversation with my niece when she started piecing together their anniversary and her birthday. As for your family and getting looked down on, you can't help how others see you. Only how you respond. Enjoy your day and your growing family!

  4. So many good things happening! Gorgeous ring and congrats! I hope that everything will be sorted out very soon.

  5. Congratulations on both the BFP and the engagement, such wonderful news!

  6. Congratulations all round! Lovely ring and I'm glad you're engaged. If I were you I'd have the civil ceremony quick to get the insurance and then have the real one later the way you want it. Doctor's appointments add up... As for what everyone says.. who cares... at least you got pregnant, that is huge! I remember stressing about getting pregnant the year we lived together and as it turned out it took us so long to get there I needn't have worried! Strange what time and perspective does, huh... Thanks for the comment on my blog.

  7. Congratulations! Your ring in beautiful!

    Would you have to tell people you went to the courthouse first? If you did the civil ceremony quickly to get insurance benefits, then you could concentrate on planning a grander ceremony with your friends and family.

    No matter what you decide, YAY all around :)

    1. No, we would not need to tell people, but on the other hand, then that's a longer time between getting pregnant and getting married, which may make it look even more like a shotgun wedding, which I don't want it to look like, because we were already planning on getting married this fall

  8. Contratulations! Stopping by from ICLW. Looks like it's been a few weeks of big news for you - that's so exciting. Life can change so quickly. Don't forget to stop and cherish these moments!

  9. Congratulations and best of luck on your journey!! Here via ICLW.

  10. Congrats on your engagement!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy ILC Week!!!!