Monday, July 15, 2013

Who am I? Why am I here?

So, you may ask, why am I here when I already have a perfectly good ALI blog?  Because when I started Notes, my purpose was to break the silence about infertility, and so I purposely shared it with as many people in my real life as I could.  I posted about it on Facebook.  I posted it on Facebook through Networked Blogs.  I talked about it to my friends and family.  Because I didn't want to be part of the problem with the cone of silence surrounding infertility.

But now, things have changed.  Now, I'm almost divorced from my ex-husband (damn waiting for a court date).  Now, I'm dating someone who I've been friends with for nine years.  Now, I'm dating someone whose ex-wife I used to be friends with.  Now, I'm dating someone who WANTS more children than he has and WANTS them with me, even if we need treatments.  Now, I'm looking at becoming a step-parent while most of my friends don't know yet that it's quite that serious.  Now, having my friends seeing my blog limits what I can say.

Because people talk.  They talk to my ex.  They talk to his ex.  So how could I talk about TTC or step-parenting freely?  That's why I'm here.

I'm still going to keep Notes and publish the same kinds of posts I have been, posts about awareness and advocacy.  And if we are able to conceive, I may do posts about pregnancy over there.  Or here.  I dunno.  I haven't thought that far ahead, because even though we just started trying, I'm scarred enough by past experience that even though my IF was unexplained, I feel like it's easier to believe we can't and be surprised if I'm wrong than the opposite.  At least here, I can talk about it.


  1. hi from iclw, looking forward to following your journey

  2. Hi from ICLW! Thought I'd check you out...juicy story! (hope that doesn't sound too just sounds like high drama!) I know a lady who fell in love with her friends husband while they were splitting up...the short story is she is full time step mom to his FOUR previous kids and they now have one son together. You never know where or with who you will end up!

    1. That's ok, I agree that it sounds juicy! At least since you're not friends with Bear's ex, I know you're not being gossipy about it. I know there are people gossiping about it and friends we may lose, but it's worth it to be with Bear. With people that don't know her or my ex, it makes a funny story.