Bear and I are leaving on a road trip today for an
event. Because this event is only every
other year, the last time I was there was with my ex. Notice that I didn’t say I made the trip with
my ex. I thought he was going to be
there, but as it turned out, he was going to go on his own and just be there at
the end (he had a thing for work that kept him from doing the drive, but just
go with me on the metaphor here). I
thought I’d be able to make the trip just fine, but when I was most of the way
there, there was an accident and I flipped the car.
I called him from the ambulance to say I was pretty sure I was
ok but this had happened, and I texted people, still from the ambulance, to let
the people at the event know what had happened and to make sure that someone
else picked him up from the airport, since I was supposed to. When we both made it to the hotel, me with a
sprained ankle and glass shards still in my skin (yes, I know I was
*incredibly* lucky that that was the worst of it), his reaction was to blame me
for causing more stress that he didn’t need.
This time around, Bear and I are starting from a different
place, in a lot of ways, but still looking at going past some of the same
places. Physically we are, since we’re
leaving from a different state, but the last 4 hours of the drive will be the
same. And emotionally we are, since
we’re starting TTC in a different place, as a different couple, but we’re
looking at the possibility of driving that infertility road again since my ex
and I never did get an answer about who/what the problem was, so for all I know
it’s me.
But this time, I know Bear is with me the whole way, even if
it takes him outside of his comfort zone.
We’re taking my car, so I’ve spent the past couple of weeks teaching him
to drive stick. And when we do go past
that place where I had the accident, HE is going to be the one driving while I
try to sleep and not know I’m passing it.
If only I had that same ability with facing infertility, but I know that
as we travel that stretch, he will do everything he can to share the burden
with me. Because we face things
together.
A solid partner makes all the difference in the world. When I think of my ex (whom I was with for five years) and how he dealt with problems, and then I think of DH, whom I've been with for four years.. I can't imagine doing this with the ex. It would be even harder than it already is. I'm glad you have your partner, and I hope you sleep right through that stretch of road.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, I did not end up sleeping through it on the way out, which is the direction where the accident happened. I pointed it out to Bear while gripping his hand, and after that I was shaking and crying. But it helped to have him there, and on the way back in the other direction I did sleep through it, although Bear says I woke up with a start a couple miles later.
DeleteWell, thank God your ex is ex!
ReplyDeleteAnd that you have a better, supportive individual in place. It must have been tough going down the same road, but I hope that the journey was therapeutic in a way that now that trip will never be as unpleasant-memory-rousing kind as it was for you till now.
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