We told the younger child this week while they were with us. I hadn't thought we'd be able to keep the secret until the wedding, not with the older one knowing and being so excited about it. And the way ended up being somewhat paved by the 6-year-old herself while I had her alone for the weekend. One of Bear's concerns was that she had not yet learned that people could have a baby without being married. But she ended up asking me exactly that over the weekend. And not because she suspected I was! She asked because "well, I want to be able to have kids someday, but I don't ever want to get married!" So we ended up getting into people having kids together without getting married, people using a friend to "provide the guy part," and going to a doctor "to get the guy part."
The kids are both thrilled and excited, and they keep asking if I'm ok and if Penguin is. When we saw them yesterday along with their mother, the younger one said goodbye to Penguin too when they left. I felt kinda bad for their mother with that. But not as bad as I would have if their mother hadn't been pumping the younger one for information over the phone about the wedding and about Penguin.
Now for the next big hurdle: The Ex. I'm scared to tell him, scared of him never wanting to speak to me again and thus completely cutting me off from contact with MY cats that I let him have. He already said because I got engaged to Bear that he doesn't want contact and asked me to step back from an event we had been running together (that I had been getting needed income from but that I wouldn't be able to do next year because of Penguin anyway), but he was willing to still allow some sort of contact with the cats. I have one friend that is also friends with him that sends me pics and updates when she visits him, but I don't want to put pressure on her to be the Official Cat News-Bearer. But also, The Ex was an ass to her over the weekend because he had a date that didn't go well and she was happy at an event they were both at with her new boyfriend. So on the heels of that, I'm even more nervous than I had been. But I feel like I need to tell him before the wedding, since the kids and their mother know and since we're starting to tell more people, even if we're not making the official announcement until closer to Christmas.
So yeah, we'll see how this goes.