Updatish

I know I've been a bad blogger.  I've been so tired that I haven't been able to manage anything more than keeping up to date (kinda) with work paperwork.  I want to go to sleep at 8 or 9 every night, but I still have a lot of work to do. 

My next appointment is tomorrow morning.  I don't think I'm going to be able to take a deep breath until I'm in the sonogram room with a good result.  Almost everyone else that I've been close to weeks-wise in this journey has lost their baby.  Two other friends (one real life and one bloggy) and I are the last ones standing that I know of.  I think I'm still pregnant.  I'm still queasy and gassy and my hips and lower back keep hurting and I'm SO tired and my breasts are still sensitive.  Oh, yeah, and Bear could tell you that I'm moody as hell (although he's been VERY patient with me...I love this man!!!)  But I can't get past the feeling that tomorrow we'll go in there and there will be no heartbeat and that I'm only still having symptoms because the hormone levels haven't dropped enough yet for them to go away.

I'll update after the appointment.

This could be interesting, though.  The 9-year-old has the flu, and we have them tonight.  (I haven't been able to get my flu shot yet, hoping I can get it tomorrow, so Bear has been having me keep away from him since he got his at work yesterday.)  If he can't go to school in the morning, we'll have to take him with us.  But we haven't told them yet.  Bear thought we'd have to a couple of times because of me being sick, but we've managed to avoid it thus far.  We're trying to wait until after the official wedding to tell them, give them one change to digest at a time.  If we were already married so far as they knew, it would be different, I wouldn't worry about when to tell them or telling them early, but that's a LOT of change to spring on them all at once.

Bear told his ex this morning, without the kids there, that we had had a positive home test and that we were going to the doctor.  His ex had asked if I was pregnant and if that's why we were getting married so quickly.  And my mom had told us both that we should tell his ex before we tell the kids so she's not blindsided when they come back to her house talking about it.  However, Bear did not say that the positive home test had been a month and a half ago.  :-p